happy day of your birth

My daughter is 11 years old today.
(breathing it in)

Everyone always says it goes fast, but that doesn't make it less true. I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. Precious thing born almost a month early, a gentle reminder from Father that I wasn't in control of this life He was delivering into my arms.  A tiny screaming sweet smelling rose (Rose is her middle name, after my mom), she was born right after the death of my mother and I always say I had a crash course in what "mom" means during that bitter sweet season of my life. Having the rug of my mom's life pulled and the inception of this life altering relationship of daughter within a month.

I used to look at her as an infant, and I swore I could see what she would be like when she was grown up.  Now, thinking back, I am pretty sure she looks and 'is' what I had imagined. Always trust your gut and mine is strong with her, to be sure.  Who is she? If you have had a glimpse of what makes her special, trust me, there is more than you have seen.  She has always been just what she is. The parts that were difficult are also the parts that are wondrous.  I do hope I have made room and allowed what is amazing in her to grow to it's biggest and best, but these parts of her were there from the start. Gifts of a true voice. Gifts of true beauty (inside and out). What will she say and do with these gifts? I have caught a glimpse and I can't quite wait to see what it becomes!

She is my barometer, picking up whatever is in the room.  Sometimes this is good in the case of information, knowledge, getting a feeling for something.  But sometimes it is difficult for her. It was certainly difficult for her as a small child, she would melt down after a brief time in an overstimulating environment. But now, all of what she has absorbed comes out in the most unexpected and overwhelmingly beautiful ways. She was never a "dreamy" child, like me, she always was exceptionally aware.

I always said my job as a mom was to keep my children as close to the fully intact personalities that were given to me by God as possible.... delivered unscathed into adulthood.
I wish I could say I have done this well.  I realize now it was an insanely impossible task for a person to accomplish.  But I keep trying. I will never give up on her.

Oh how I love her.
If you could see inside my heart and understand the love from this mother to this daughter.
every. single. freckle.
Pure Joy.

And I must say, I also like her, she is one of my favorite people to hang out with. Every single developmental phase of hers has been my favorite.
So now, 11 year old Astrid, waiting to explore what it is to become a women... is my favorite.