Christmas Eve Conversations

Ugh! It is so painful to even read this old post. 2008.

And yet it is even more relevant to me & even more important to have that painful conversation.

Here is the thing...
Redemption just is looking very different.

What I thought I wanted was for God to make everything "right" meaning tidy it up and make me & my marriage look like what it is "supposed" to look like.  I really wanted God to just be a co-conspirator in my hiding. He didn't do that because He so deeply loves me.
I get it now.  *Or at least I am starting to get it.

And so here I put up this Christmas Conversation... again.
And that last line... true.

Christmas Conversation

Let me tell you the story

The one I didn't want to hear

Of the Son

Baby, angels, a star

Let it cast light on your darkness

Like traced silhouette

Yes, even now

Set your eyes, child, on that star

Look for it in the East

Like a beacon to follow when nothing else makes sense

Look for it and follow

Even blindly

How long?

As long as it takes

Sing now, the songs you don't feel like singing

Sing it even if mouthing the words

Like practice makes perfect

Your voice will arrive

And your voice will sing

'Redeemer!'

And it will not look anything like what you thought

Mary's Song is My Song

Lately as I poke my head into Advent services while 'checking busying working' I hear her calling.  She keeps singing her song gently in my ear. It is as if every moment I walk past a word from her song is breathing into my spirit, and now with the third Sunday of Advent complete... her song is growing in me. 'Your song is my song' she seems to be saying, 'join me'.

My soul lifts up the Lord! 47My spirit celebrates God, my

Liberator! 48For though I’m God’s humble servant,

God has noticed me. Now and forever,

I will be considered blessed by all generations.

49For the Mighty One has done great things for me;

holy is God’s name! 50From generation to generation,

God’s lovingkindness endures for those who revere Him.

51God’s arm has accomplished mighty deeds.

The proud in mind and heart,

God has sent away in disarray. 52The rulers from their high positions of

power, God has brought down low.

And those who were humble and lowly,

God has elevated with dignity. 53The hungry—God has filled with fine

food. The rich—God has dismissed with

nothing in their hands. 54To Israel, God’s servant,

God has given help, 55As promised to our ancestors,

remembering Abraham and his descendants in mercy forever

And every word sparks another pull. These stories... these biblical narratives are about me, they are a call. "Will you answer the call" - words spoken by a visiting pastor prior to Advent speaking about Joseph (not the father of Jesus, the man with the colored coat). 

I pulled up Mary's song today and I read it and as I did I saw the commentary from the Voice. 

Mary is deeply moved by these amazing encounters—first with the messenger and then with her cousin, Elizabeth. Mary’s response can’t be contained in normal prose; her noble soul overflows in poetry. And this poetry isn’t simply religious; it has powerful social and political overtones. It speaks of a great reversal—what might be called a social, economic, and political revolution. To people in Mary’s day, there is little question as to what she is talking about. The Jewish people are oppressed by the Roman Empire, and to speak of a King who will demote the power- ful and rich and elevate the poor and humble means one thing: God is moving toward setting them free! 

My song is Mary's song. 

Mary's song is my song.