Thoughts on light & dark, Psalms 149 & how we really can not get it wrong

CAN I GO ANYWHERE APART FROM YOUR SPIRIT? 

Is there anywhere I can go 

to escape 

your watchful presence

IF I go up to heaven

YOU ARE THERE

If I make my bed

in the realm of the dead

You ARE THERE

If I ride on the wings of the morning 

YOU ARE THERE

If I make my home in isolated parts of the ocean

Even then you will be there to guide me

Your right hand will embrace me

YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT THERE

Even if I am afraid 

You can see in the dark, for it is not dark to

Your eyes. For You the night is just as bright as

the day. 

Darkness and light are the same to

Your eyes

____________________________________________________

 

As I worked on these illustrations over the last week or so I found them covering my heart. Working on the concept of light and darkness, the illustrations took on meaning for my internal work. And as I went through a week of soulful, heavy internal work (which over the past several years feels like a nonstop process of excavation) I was comforted.
We really can not get it wrong, can we?


If we get it 'wrong' by hiding. He sees.
If we get it 'wrong' in our attempts to get it 'right'. He finds us there too.
If we hide in the deepest darkest places of our hearts. He is there.
If we hide in the 'heaven' of 'being good'. He uncovers us.
He holds us in our shame and tells us we are free.


Shame has no power. He nullifies & makes trivial our shame filled voices.
Because either way... if we acted out or we never acted... it is ultimately meeting love square in the center of ourselves where we find true, deep abiding love. A love that seeks us, uncomfortably.  

My heart has had such deep hidden places that I kept 'light safe and sealed shut' from everyone, including God.
I have been so 'good' that I was lost in being something that God never asked me to be.
I have followed the 'rules' only to realize that was an attempt to hide too.
I tucked away whole parts of my identity and told them to be quiet & not to come out.


He found me every time.
And this process, is life.
We can not get it wrong.