On Being a Sheep

God keeps showing me the picture of a sheep to illustrate to me 'being' ultimately vulnerable in a way that is 'stupid'.  'Bah'... stupid sheep!  A picture of vulnerability, nakedness, ultimate exposure even in the face of fear.  You might not see the beauty in being a sheep when the wolf is right there licking his chops. You might not understand, in fact it is something that is difficult to understand.  But I know that as I walk as a sheep I have found the most amazing peace.  It is all about love pushing out fear and it is a wondrous way to be.

Call me stupid. Call me ignorant. Call me weak. Call me blind. I am none of those things!
I am a sheep who has learned to depend on the shepherd. I am laying down, freshly sheered in green pastures, waiting for the next part of my story.  The wolf has no power, fear isn't welcome, it was always just a trick of the mind. I have been a trusting person all of my life and I will not let any external circumstances change that about me.  I will not harden my heart.

I bought myself this necklace to remind me to be sheep like in the midst of my dealings with those things which threaten me.  To remind me of what His power looks like in the middle of hardship.  To remind me to stay true to myself, to trust him & dismiss the need to control the outcome of everything that fearfully 'could be' & embrace the truth of what is.  The truth that I might not be 'ok' (if you want proof of that there is a running list and I can get you a copy) but I am truly deeply & eternally loved and my father thinks that I am beautiful.

So I wear this necklace and I chant the 23rd Psalm. Hoping that in the chanting of it the mantra will become embedded in my heart and shield it from all the hurt that surrounds.

Psalm 23 (the Voice)

1The Eternal is my shepherd, He cares for

me always.

2He provides me rest in rich, green fields

beside streams of refreshing water.

He soothes my fears;

3He makes me whole again,

steering me off worn, hard paths

to roads where truth and righteousness

echo His name.

4Even in the unending shadows of death’s

darkness,

I am not overcome by fear.

Because You are with me in those dark

moments,

near with Your protection and

guidance,

I am comforted.

5You spread out a table before me,

provisions in the midst of attack from

my enemies;

You care for all my needs, anointing my

head with soothing, fragrant oil,

filling my cup again and again with

Your grace.

6Certainly Your faithful protection and

loving provision will pursue me

where I go, always, everywhere.

I will always be with the Eternal,

in Your house forever.

My Mother's Day Proclamation

Here is my own Mother's Day Proclamation based on this one written in 1872 

Arise then... women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
Our homes and churches will be shelters
We will not live in fear
We will not engage the painful path
Only to hold onto the white picket illusion
Acting as if perfection is an attainable goal
Shame be banished!
In words and deeds
We will not look away when our sisters cry
We will look them in their tear filled eyes
Even when this highlights our hidden fears
We will not live as if our children are meant to be anything other than
A tinted reflection of His kingdom in a fractured world
We will hold loosely in love and nurture fully
Nurturing whatever/ whoever is placed beside us
Clinging to the whole knowledge of His planned justice
We will release those we care for into His better than arms
While offering our own less than arms as sacrifice
Living peace filled lives
Speaking with clear voices
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
For you to listen 

My Mother's Day Proclamation

I should come up with my own Mother's Day Proclamation

As inspired by this post (very old post)

why the flour hates the yeast

painful parables 

flood my cell phone today

I think about how 

the flour must hate the yeast

the flour

In it's froth 

being invaded

It can not be helped

In it's inactive state

the yeast waits for nothing, but to be added  

sitting with thoughts

that no one wants to hear

once drawn in 

the yeast overtakes the flour

the entire mixture 

changes

the flour

always felt secure

always knew itself

the flour was grounded

but it never knew what it could be

the flour hates the yeast

even at the point of expansion 

expansion has to be the most painful part

If God is in the process

by which we are changed

by which we become love

by which we become His kingdom

Overflowing

And if the yeast represents it all

I see why the flour hates the yeast

I understand why you are angry 

I understand why he is in the dark

I see why she is filled with hate

And I recognize His kingdom in my cell phone

Even as I throw it across the room

I lay down my rights

I lay down my rights 

the right to happiness

the right to be right 

the right to make you 

make me feel happy

the right to make you 

be / do anything

I lay down my right to fix 

I lay down my right to make 

To try 

To create what can only be created thru HIM

To create what can only be corrupt in my efforts 

I lay down my attempts 

I lay down my control 

I lay down my will in the matter

my opinion 

my goals

my hope 

I lay down everything 

And commit only to exist 

Untidy

Unkempt 

Unfulfilled 

Longing 

Chaotic 

Echoing an ancient cry 

Of hollow discontent  

Empty

In a posture of waiting 

To be filled